Magical Malleability
A previous partner once accused me of being hypocritical because I “changed my mind all the time.” I didn’t think this was fair of them to say, but I didn’t learn until after I left that relationship that there had never been any room for change with them. I am only hypocritical insomuch as we all are because we inevitably learn new information and alter our opinions accordingly. This distinctly human ability to remake ourselves and adapt to change can be harnessed and used to enhance our magical selves.
“A tree that cannot bend will crack in the wind.”
Rigid beliefs and behaviors make for a less resilient person who is likely to break under hardship instead of grow stronger. Being malleable doesn’t mean that we should all be like formless lumps of clay, it just means we should be willing to resculpt parts of us that no longer fit the whole. There are a series of techniques - mental flexibility, acceptance, creative problem-solving, vision, and emotional control - that you can develop through hardship as well as intentionality to foster magical malleability.
It’s impossible to know everything there is to know, which means that sometimes we will learn new facts that contradict our previous understandings. In light of this, it’s important to avoid hasty decisions and emotional reactions based on outside influences and pressures. Very few decisions are as urgent as people make us believe. There is always time to take a grounding breath or excuse yourself for a quiet moment alone to connect with your intuition and the magic within.
Sometimes the right reaction to change is to stay the course. That’s where vision - the ability to see the end goal and the major steps needed to reach that goal - comes into play. If new information doesn’t affect the end goal, then you might just need to control your immediate emotional reaction so you can accept whatever has changed and that you don’t need to do anything. For example, if you wanted to go to a concert with a friend but they get sick the morning of, while sad, you can and probably should still go to the concert.
When you need to change course because you learn some new knowledge, try to accept that you couldn’t have known about it beforehand. Getting angry or embarrassed that you made plans based on incorrect information isn’t helpful. Instead, return to the grounding practice mentioned above. Center yourself before employing creative problem-solving to redirect. Say you decided to go to the concert despite your friend’s absence but forgot to double-check the ticket and drove to the wrong venue. You might get angry at yourself and see it as a sign that the universe is telling you not to go to the concert. Or you can be adaptable and find a way to get to the concert and still have a good time.
It has taken me years to develop my magical malleability because I didn’t think I needed to work on it. I had convinced myself that I was a go-with-the-flow sort of person, that no matter what happened I could adjust to the change of plans. But there’s a big difference between pushing down your emotions and opinions to accommodate other people’s lack of preparedness and having the mental flexibility and emotional control to modify the situation accordingly.
It takes patience and intentional growth to become the tree that can weather windstorms. You are worth the time and effort it takes to foster and grow your magic.
